If you’re a caregiver, you could use some care too

Caring for someone else can be very rewarding, but it can also be demanding and at times frustrating, taking a toll on your own physical and emotional wellbeing.

Unpaid and informal caregivers often focus wholly on the person they’re caring for, neglecting their own needs and concerns. As a caregiver, it’s important to recognize how you’re feeling too, and when you need to ask for help.

Many ‘caregivers’ don’t even consider themselves as that, especially if the person they look after is a spouse or other family member. If you provide care out of love and not because you’re paid for it, you’re still a caregiver. If you routinely help another person in their day-to-day life, someone who would struggle to cope without the help you give, then you’re almost certainly a ‘caregiver’.

But what constitutes caring? It’s a broad definition and could include:

• helping someone out with chores around their home
• cooking meals or providing food for someone
• transporting someone to medical or other appointments
• ensuring they always have enough medication and that they take it on time
• helping them to wash, dress or use the bathroom
• helping them keep in touch with family and friends or attend social activities.

If the person you care for is your husband, wife or life partner, you’re also their ‘caregiver’, and it could be a 24/7 commitment. However, it could also be a more distant family member, friend or neighbor who you care for on a less frequent basis. If you’re providing care from a distance – regularly traveling to care for someone else – that can put extra strain on you. Travelling is tiring, time-consuming and costly.

The first step to accessing resources for caregivers might be to realize that you actually are a ‘caregiver! As such, you might need – and be entitled to – some help yourself. The kind of help available will vary depending on where you live, but it could include:

• respite care, enabling you to take a break from time to time while someone else performs your caring duties
• a formal assessment of the unpaid care you’re giving and the support you need to keep doing it
• proper training to help you be a more confident and effective caregiver
• financial help, to recoup what you’re spending to provide care
• mobility equipment, disability aids, home adaptations or technology such as a medical alarm to help in your caregiving
• advice about practical help or benefits you or the person you care for may be entitled to.

The essential thing is that you reach out for help. If you’re a voluntary caregiver and nobody in authority knows about it, then you’re unlikely to get the help you need. One of the first things to do is speak to your own doctor. Make sure they know you’re a caregiver for someone else and ask them to record it in your medical notes. Your doctor may be able to direct you to other resources for caregivers in your area.

You can also harness the power of the internet. Carry out an online search for ‘caregiver resources’ or ‘help for caregivers’ in your area. If you struggle to use a computer, ask someone more ‘computer literate’ to help you – they’ll probably be happy to help.

You should quickly find charitable organizations or other national or local groups dedicated to providing help and support for caregivers. They’re helping caregivers like you every day, so they’ll know the ropes. A great place to start is Carers Canada.

Above all else, it’s vital that you seek help with your caregiving before it takes too heavy a toll on you. If you hit your own health or emotional crisis, the person you care for will lose their caregiver and you’ll need care too.